Not On My Own…

I’ve done a thorough examination of my body; every limb, every lump and every fold ;-P - yet I cant seem to find that much talked about expiry date stamped anywhere.

So what is this everyone’s rambling about?

I remember being quite content being man-less, very content actually that the absence of a boyfriend barely affected me.

However, hearing the "You’d better get yourself a man before it’s too late" line more than 4 times the past month has somewhat sent me into a worry flurry. And it doesn’t help that too many (same aged) people that I know are officially getting together. A good friend of mine who is only a year older than me is getting married next week!, and another at the end of the year.

Iam naturally thrilled for these friends of mine-not just because I’ve got reasons to dress up (sounds sad…i know!) but I know that their choices have been thoroughly scrutinised (reckon there’s a better word, but i’m rather sleepy).
The thing is…I’ve seen too many broken engagements (the irony that these always happen to couples that celebrate them lavishly truly baffles me) and I dont want my personal circle of acquaintances to be part of the nasty statistics.

Anyway, I’ve always prided myself in being independent and firm footed, albeit a lil bit of an emotional drama queen at times-come on, we all have that side to us,the only variable is its degree of severity- hence, I’m convinced that though I may not at the top of ‘Most Desirable Woman’ list, my name is there… Somewhere…
Therefore, the possibility of being a single,bitter and shriveled 65 year old hag is something I refuse to believe in.

Then why is it I don’t have eligible men pounding down my door?

Coz you’re fussy.
Coz you’re not approachable.
Coz you’re confused.
Coz you’re intimidating.
Coz you’re too confident.
Coz you’re looking for the  PERFECT ONE.

That’s what my sis and some of my friends may say, but I (the one person who knows me best) would beg to differ.

Yes, I have my specifications, who doesn’t? However, that does not mean that I’m fussy or judgmental. It just simply means that I have a pretty defined idea of what I want.
And I’m not looking for perfection-just near perfection :)

He may be a club singer and he can have 6 fingers, I really dont care, but there must exist an unexplainable mangga-dan-kunci-like chemistry (you know what i mean la..hehe)
And for the record, I am NOT intimidating, crazy maybe…but scary??!!….nah…

And laughing and worrying at the same time over the same issue does not equate to confusion…I’m someone who likes drama…not the overly-absurd kind but you know…just to spice things up…can’t help it if i come off as weird la…thats me…so deal with it! ;-)

So its beginning to get on my nerves when i occasionally hear my siblings lament at the fact that I don’t have an arm around my waist.
I get annoyed at the queries of marriage.I mean, im only 23 and who am I gonna marry if I dont even have a boyfriend?!! Plainly, its a silly question to ask.
I will not believe that I cannot find my own man.

Wait…Let me rephrase that last statement…you see I have all these desires and hopes in my heart…but I have chosen to give JESUS full control of my life. So i believe that he has a greater plan for me…even in relationships…he has already blessed me with wonderful friends and I believe he will bless me with the perfect partner when the time is right. You know what they say…its all about the timing…

Yes, the brokers may have noble intentions, and there are days where I wish I had someone to share good times with. The endless nagging from the inhabitants of my little world doesn’t make the loneliness easier-BUT I will not succumb to it.
I will find that near perfect person…with God’s help…
At forty, perhaps :)
Till then, I’ll remain optimistic.

3 Responses to “Not On My Own…”

  1. Charlotte Says:

    You go gurl!! Thats the way!! Seriously, your life is yours to live so don’t let everybody’s perpectual talk on having a boyfriend get to you (I understand the feeling, it’s annoying).Until you meet the right person, continue to be your independent self and trust that in God’s time, he will make all things beautiful :) Just remember to always put God first in everything!

  2. CyBeRShOT Says:

    Hey girl…you know who you are and leaving it to God’s hands is the most wisest choice…hehehe.You stand up for what you believe in and you tell all those out there to BE PATIENT…coz MINI, you are special and at this moment God is sitting down and finding the BEST man for you. Hey,he’s our daddy so wouldn’t he want HIS daughter to have the best???Hehehe…You told me that you blog was ‘kind of sad’ but honestly…this is the most OPTIMISTIC blog i’ve ever read!
    Just show the whole world the true mini we know and everything will fall into place!God Bless!!!!

  3. Tabby Says:

    “The absence of a man in a woman’s life does not make her any less of a woman.In fact it is gratifying because she lives in her own shadow and not that of a man…”
    by-Diana Schubert
    (My Alter Ego - The Feminist)

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